Few days ago, I found myself struggling to counsel a young lady about relationships. I was very blunt with her. Despite the fact I know I may not qualify to counsel anyone on relationships, but some things are glaringly obvious. The problem is that we find it difficult to accept the truth; even when it's staring us in the face. Too bad. 

Just like Jimoore, my friend would say, people go into relationships for various reasons. Some for pecuniary motives, while others seek emotional comfort and stability. That settles it.

I made a recent observation amongst young ladies and I discovered that majority of our women go into relationships hoping that sooner or later, they might settle down with the man(get married) And if this is not forthcoming, they dive into emotional trauma and begin to hate all men.  Personally speaking, I think this is a very wrong notion about what relationships should be.

In a relationship, in as much as there are frictions, and misunderstandings amongst partners, emotional stability and character modification cannot be ruled out. Smiles are created, beautiful memories are built, there is an exchange of behavioral attributes and all these form a thick cloud of experience which impact on the individual’s future pursuits.

But due to the erroneous impression our young ladies already have about relationships, they get stuck in a relationship, eating poo, and enduring humiliations, forgetting that life is a learning process. The longer and wider we live, the greater will be our experience.

Also, one very salient point is the ability to accept to be corrected…in a relationship. Yeah..its obvious we come from different backgrounds, academically, religiously and mentally, but in a relationship, two persons who have chosen to be together, are involved. As a result, there should be what I call complimenting my compliments. Here, you are to acknowledge whatever I bring on board, but still, it is your responsibility to correct me if I am wrong. Just teach me the right way. But, the problem is not the teaching or correcting, but how we do it. And secondly, how we react to corrections.

People feel that because they are merely in a relationship, and not married, especially the women, men should not correct them. They think that there is much difference between relationships and marriages?

Relationships are a form of socialization where you learn from others and you also teach them. You don't learn by locking yourself up in the room. Neither do you learn when you are not willing to be taught. 

Nobody should stay away from relationships because you have been hurt in the past. Neither should anyone remain in an abusive relationship because you have dated for five years and you are 'supposed to get married'

Relationship is life. Its a huge window of learning opportunities. Its yet another avenue for mental building and appreciation.

You can’t just be there. You can’t just lock yourself in there brooding and mourning over past relationships thinking that it all lies there. How could you think of going back because he is supposed to marry you? What you should do is to learn from the experiences you have gathered then become a better person.

You need someone to confide in. You need someone to cry on his shoulders and share your joys with. You need to keep going. You need to free yourself and embrace people. Expose yourself to knowledge, and become a force to reckon with. Go out there and mingle.

Get out now!

And even as you go out, feel free to share this beautiful piece with your friends, family, and colleagues. They must not remain the same. 

Thank you.