10 ways to raise kids into disciplined and successful adults-yourlivingideas.com

These 10 ways to raise kids into disciplined and successful adults will let us know as parents that we are ultimately raising our kids into successful adults so the need to put our best into it knowing we are actually working for their success in adulthood and their future in general. 

Gone are the days when children prostrate to greet their elders or see an old person carrying a load and offer to help. I know I will be criticized for this but the truth is that this generation has failed in terms of parenting if we cannot raise a child that can tell his mate from his elder, honor, respect and show genuine love and care to others.

The importance of family ties and good morals in general has been replaced by the pursuit of more money, fame and selfishness. We have left our children to the mercy of the teachers whose hands are already full, caregivers, maids and the internet since the advent of smartphones. This ought not to be. 

Here is a list of tips I have made up through research and personal experience that may help us correct the way we go about raising our kids and help you mold them into successful adults. 
Thanks to Omale Annon

Lead by Example 

Leading by example

This is a crucial and the most effective way to get kids to do something or change a negative habit. For instance, my little girl who is 2 years and 8 months old now started greeting people we met on the street at 11 months old as she talked quite early. One phrase she learnt early in life was “good morning” she will tell everyone she met good morning no matter the time of day. This is so because she has listened to me and my mom who was helping me look after her at the time greet people every time. 

Now, she is known by people as a very respectful little girl and she sometimes receives gifts for that and the joy of this is that it will follow her into adulthood. 

There are certain attitudes in life that cannot be taught, but can be lived and seen by all. These include: love, meekness, humility, faith, patience, empathy, giving, the list is endless. To teach your child integrity for example, the best way is to be truthful at all times. 

Never ask your child to tell a friend who is knocking at the door that you are not at home when indeed you are, when you make your child a promise, keep it. Just imbibe these character and you will raise a replica now and as an adult. 

Do not be afraid to tell your Child “no” 

You must not grant your child`s every wish. Sometimes no will keep them from harm`s way. This will also help your child know that life is not all about their wants and desires and help them cope with disappointments well into adulthood. 

Help your child make the right decisions in life 

Most parents think that it is hard to communicate effectively with their children, it is not true because I have a 4-year-old son and I try to discuss with him even when he`s throwing tantrums. I first try to calm him down by hugging him tightly, sits him down and we discuss. Sometimes providing him with an alternative or just a promise of getting him another or a better one if he was crying for something like a toy and he says okay, phew! 

The truth is we don't have the time to spare as it is time consuming and sacrificial to explain to our children the advantages and disadvantages of certain decisions and choices they make and how it will affect them now or later depending on what is involved.

 Teach your Kids the Benefits of Delayed Gratification 

Last night as we were returning from prayers, we passed my neighbor's flat whose son is my little boy's friend and instead of climbing the stairs with us, my four-year-old son charged towards their flat but I and his father stopped him immediately. He was about crying when his father explained to him that it was late and his friend was probably asleep by now and even if he was awake, they will not be allowed to play for long as it was already past bedtime. We promised to take him to visit his friend the next day so they can both play for a longer time. He was very pleased and we all went home. 

Delayed gratification is where you put off a reward for a greater benefit in the future. Teaching your child this is simply teaching them to make the right choices as they grow into adulthood as you will not always be there to make choices for them. Now is when you teach them all they need to know. Remember the bible admonishes us “train up a child in the way he should go and when he's old, he will not depart from it”. 

Teach Them the Way of God Early 

A praying child

As a Christian parent, your approach towards raising godly children should go way beyond making sure everyone in the family goes to church on Sundays. 

There are intrinsic Christian values that you must introduce into the menu which are: 

Setting up a family alter: In doing this, you should make it lively by encouraging everyone to partake in the program like leading the praise session, worship session, the short exhortation and the prayer. This way everyone will look forward to it since there is always a role to play and they end up learning these things too. Another benefit is they will pass this important tradition to the next generation. 

Encourage your kids to join church groups: There are various groups in the church that your child can fit in irrespective of the age like the choir, ushering, evangelism, prayer, decoration, dancing or drama groups etc. These groups will further help them to know the Lord for themselves, understand and enjoy the benefits of serving in the house of God like protection, exemption and longevity and they become more respectful, humble and self-disciplined. 

You must teach your children how to pay tithes and offerings: In doing this, remember you must first be a giver for you to teach someone else. You will be the one to give them the money for the tithe and offerings in the first place. Let your child know that everything including the money they have comes from God. If he had not preserved and strengthened us, we will not be able to make the money. If you do this, they will continually see God as their source and honor him into adulthood. 

Establish a family bible study: 2 Timothy 2:15. There is need for us to lead our children to the truth so that they will know it for themselves. That way, they cannot be deceived by evil and fake pastors. We are in the end time already so protect your children. 

 Be Careful what you do in the Presence of your Kids 

Eddie was a successful lawyer in his mid-thirties but he has trouble keeping a relationship as he was always violent and aggressive towards his girlfriends. This made them stop seeing him for fear of being killed having received several beatings from him, some being near death. Upon the first meeting with his therapist, it was discovered that Eddie`s parents were always quarreling and fighting since he was a kid and witnessing these episodes led to him being so violent. From this real-life story, you can see that what we do in our children's presence follows them into adulthood and can either make or mar them. 

If you want your child to be perfect in an act, just act it and make sure he`s watching. 

Apart from this long-term effect, there are also short-term effects on children like sleep disturbance, low academic performance, depression, etc. 

Encourage your children to do House Chores 

There are several chores to teach your little ones, although their age should be taken into consideration before allowing them do certain chores like taking out the garbage, cleaning, laundry, washing the dishes, asking an older kid to bath his or her younger one, etc. 

When you teach your kids how to do house chores, there are several benefits: 

They will learn social skills like division of labor and how to work with others. 

They understand the beauty in working as they will derive satisfaction from seeing their achievement and joy when appreciated or praised for a job well done. 

You also have time to do other serious chores like cooking or shopping. You allow them to bond with their siblings when bathing, dressing or feeding their younger ones. They learn how to keep a clean and organized home which will follow them into adulthood.

Assist your Kids with their Home Works and Provide their needs Promptly 

Mike was 8 years old and lived with his mom and dad. His mum was a successful career woman who hardly had time for her beloved family due to the pressures from her job. His dad was also busy working in the rig and was rarely around so Mike was always left with a maid who was illiterate. Everyday, Mike returns from school with a math work and being a slow learner, he always had a need for further explanation and so needed help with his home work. By the time mummy returns from work which were mostly late, Mike was already asleep and during the weekends, when Mike will request his mum to help with his home work, she often says she was tired and needed to rest, gradually, Mike`s interest in school began to die until he finally dropped out of in the second year in high school 😢 

Showing interest in your kids’ school works shows them you love, care and wants them to excel in future. They fall in love with education and improve in their performance in other to make you proud for your efforts. Ultimately, they will have a better standing in getting good jobs in future. In the story above, this parent was successful at her job but failed in parenting. 

Never Choose Career Paths for your Kids but Nurture their Skills and Gifts 

I am a doctor, so my son must be a doctor. 

Gone are the days where parents choose careers for their children, it is like choosing a husband for your daughter even though you are not the one who will live with that person. This is not love but great folly. 

As parents we must know that our children are special and unique individuals with choices, flares, likes and dislikes. It is good to allow our kids to choose what they want to become as they will be good and successful in their chosen field. Let their passion guide them. 

I have noticed that my four-year-old son loves anything about space, the solar system and have learnt the 9 planets and their features that he can tell them off hand so we got him more videos of the outer space. When asked what he will like to become in future, he said “Astronaut”. 

We must watch out for gifts and skills our children exhibit early in life and try to nurture them and encourage them, although, some of their choices may change over time, our part is to nurture not change or kill their desires, choices, skills or gifts. 

According to Noelle Kirchner of crosswalk.com “There’s something innate and even God-driven when we step into our destiny and demonstrate our capabilities for the betterment of ourselves and others—that fruit gives God glory”. 

Apply the right Parenting Style 

We have four basic parenting style but one of them has been proved by several Child Psychologists, experts and parents myself included as the best. Find out which of them is best in the next article. 

Thanks to Lifestyle blogger Omale for these wonderful inputs. Feel free to visit her blog. There are so many things you can learn from her.

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